Hi, lovelies! I hope you’re all doing well and as excited as I am that it’s Friday! I wanted to share something with you all that’s been weighing on my heart this past week. I briefly mentioned it in an Instagram post on Wednesday, but thought I’d talk about it a little bit more here.
I’ve been feeling very convicted over the last few days about something that I’ve been struggling with. Let me give you a little bit of context. I have pretty decent skin. It took many years of dealing with acne, but as I’ve hit my mid-twenties, I feel like I’ve finally gotten to a place where I’m pretty comfortable with how it looks. By no means is it perfect, but it’s clear enough that I feel much more confident and happy with it now than I did back in high school or…let’s not even speak of it…middle school. To be quite, honest, I’ve been cruising at a pretty comfortable altitude for a few years, with little to no complaints.
Then we arrive at last November. Over the course of a few days leading up to Thanksgiving, my chin and jawline decided to throw a full-blown, kicking, screaming, door-slamming tantrum and Christmas break was spent primarily makeup-free, nursing my angry skin back to good health. By January, it seemed like things were on the up and up.
That brings us to last week. One minute, everything seemed to be going smoothly (literally) and the next, BAM! Full. Facial. Breakout. Possibly worse than I’ve ever had. And I’m sure many of us have experienced this ultimate inner conflict, “I have to wear makeup to cover this horrible mess up, but at the same time, I want my face to be able to breathe and recover. What do I do?!?!”
And of course, naturally, I assumed that everyone I encountered over the next few days thought I looked hideous. At certain points, I almost felt compelled to apologize to people for the way my skin looked. Because, you know, it was super offensive.
I’ll be honest, I struggle with a number of insecurities about my physical appearance, but for the longest time, my complexion has just not one been of them. Now somehow, within the last few months, it’s become one of the biggest ones.
Then on Tuesday, I was at Reflect, the women’s large group and bible study at my church. We were discussing Esther and at one point, the topic of Esther’s numerous beauty treatments came up and we were asked the question, “How can we be advocates of true beauty today as Hollywood pushes the skin deep agenda stronger than ever before?” And all I could think was, “Clearly this does not relate even remotely to my personal situation. I see no correlation at all.” But then, after I was done being the Queen of de Nile (denial..hehe), I realized that this was totally something that God was trying to teach me in that very moment.
As I sat around the table and confessed this to my small group, (each of whom responded with, “We don’t even see what you’re talking about. Your skin looks great!”…Clearly we notice our flaws much more easily than others do.) I began to realize how toxic and untrue my thoughts had been. I began to understand how truly beautiful and fearfully and wonderfully God made me. He made me a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend and that alone carries so much weight. He made me someone who can listen, give advice, love, laugh, cry, rejoice, be confided in, be leaned upon, be relied upon, be trusted.
And isn’t that what makes us truly beautiful after all? Isn’t that worth so much more than perfect skin?
“But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” – 1 Peter 3:4
Thank you so much for reading and thank you to everyone who had such encouraging things to say about my Instagram post. You are all so beautiful from the inside out.