My Battlefield

Hey, friends! First off, I want to apologize for posting so infrequently lately. With the start of the new school year, things have suddenly picked up in all areas of my life and I haven’t been able to dedicate as much time to my blog. So, thank you to anyone and everyone who still checks it regularly and reads the few posts I do have time for. From the bottom of my heart, I truly appreciate your support.

I will admit, I haven’t been feeling top-notch lately. I’ve mentioned to some of my friends that I feel like I’ve been on the verge of sickness for a really long time now, without having actually gotten a full-blown cold or the flu. That’s not to say that I want to get sick. But at a certain point, it’s almost more annoying being half sick for months and months than just getting the flu and getting it over with.

I’ve always felt that I have a relatively weak immune system. I tend to pretty consistently have at least one symptom or another at any given time, whether it be a stuffy nose, a sore throat or just general lethargy.  For many years, in fact, I suffered from chronic and severe sinus infections. I was misdiagnosed a number of times with allergies and asthma, neither of which I actually suffer from. It wasn’t until just a couple of years ago that a doctor finally ordered a CT scan and discovered that I was a prime candidate for sinus surgery. And fortunately, following the surgery, in which they straightened out my septum, enlarged the size of my nasal passages and removed several cysts from my sinus cavity, my symptoms greatly diminished.

However, as time has passed, I’ve come to realize, that while I feel significantly better most of the time, there are a lot of things that still plague me. Primarily, I still have difficulty breathing through both nostrils, I still suffer from occasional sinus headaches and I still lack strength and energy as I go about my day-to-day life. I don’t necessarily want to say that I have to live with these things, but I’ve certainly had to learn how to live with them. The reality is that, if I took a sick day every time I woke up feeling ill, I would rarely ever make it to work.

So, every morning when I get up, I spend some time in the Word, I drink a piping hot cup of coffee and I pray for the strength (physically, mentally, emotionally) to make it through the day ahead. And I’ll be honest, many days, I feel like I just won’t make it until 5:00pm, (Yesterday was one of those days.) but somehow, each time, God gives me just enough energy to finish the day. In these moments, I’m reminded of what God tells us in Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” These words are so sustaining in times when sickness weighs down. It’s not only a physical burden to bear, but also an emotional one, so I seek comfort in the promises of God’s Word and the safety of His embrace.

Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t presume to know the level of pain and sickness that so many people live with every day. As frustrated and tired as I sometimes feel, I know that it doesn’t even begin to compare with the battles that so many face, which are too numerous to even name. And I’m so thankful that God gave me a body that’s generally healthy and can walk, run and even dance. I do my best to not take that for granted, but of course, it’s a daily struggle and something I have to actively remind myself of.

Anyway, this is actually not how I imagined this post going, but it’s been something that’s been heavy on my heart lately, so when I started writing, I guess this is what God intended me to write. I know that so many of you are fighting your own battles right now, whatever they may be and I pray that you would not only find comfort in knowing you’re not alone, but that you would seek God for strength as well.

If you have any questions or anything you’d like to say, please share it with me in the comments. I love hearing from you.

Thanks for reading and have a great day!